There are many reasons I avoid reading opinion pieces. Sometimes, they make my blood pressure spike up in a very dangerous way. For instance, this.

Let’s start with the first sentence: “Forget about what statistics say; men are better drivers. It’s that simple.”
Translation: Science and math are hard and we don’t understand what empirical evidence is, so let’s make up some stuff that makes us feel better about ourselves.

10. “They let their dogs in the car”.
Because every single woman ever is a Hollywood blond who likes being on camera. And of course no man ever let his dog into the car. Because that would be unmanly.

9. “They let their friends in the car”
Apparently, having friends and doing them favors makes you a bad driver. All of my friends with cars are female. Only one of them gets distracted by friends in the car. She also gets distracted by shinny things, bright lights, and funny signs. And again, because no real man ever lets his friends into his car. And of course no women have male friends or vice versa.

8. “They obstruct their vision with crap”
I don’t even know where to start here. I’m pretty sure men and women are equally likely to hang things on their front mirror.

7. “They sing while driving”
Not only is the writer of this article a self-centered idiot, he also has never watched Office Space. It probably wasn’t manly enough for him. Or met my Dad, the only driver I know who sings while driving.

6. “They use the mirrors to look at themselves”
I just really have nothing to say here. If this was a conversation, my jaw would be somewhere near the floor and I would be making odd gestures and sounds as I tried to find some bit of logic to cling to.

5. “They make calls and send texts while driving”
I don’t know if the writer got the memo, but that’s only a little bit against the law here, in California. And I hate to be the bearer of logical statements (no, wait, I don’t) but men are equally likely to text and call. More so actually, since men are more likely to want to break the law and get “one over the man”.

4. “They have no interest in cars”
And they also have no interest in computers, video games, pants, action movies, or any of the other completely male interests. Of course all men like cars is the other assumption here. Women should stick to things they are supposed to have interests in like shopping and cooking.

3. “They have no interest in driving”
See my comments for four. Except the part about pants.

2. “They have no spatial awareness”
I have a personal problem with this statement. First of all, at the age of twelve, I placed 12th in the country on a test measuring spatial awareness. Second, I know we’re ignoring science and all but still, let me try. There have been no studies to back up this finding. There have been studies showing that women actually sometimes have better spatial awareness and are more observant then men though.

1. “They have no driving gene”
There’s ignoring science, and then there’s standing on its grave and doing a little dance. If I have to tell you that there is no such thing as a driving gene, then my faith in humanity has died just that much more.

Bonus: “For just about everyone else, the only antidote is good insurance.”
And guess what insurance companies say to that? Oh yeah, they charge men more than women since men are more likely to cause accidents that end in injury or fatality.

I have decided that my battle cry is going to be “There is more difference between individuals of the same gender than there are between the two genders.” It’s not a very good battle cry, I realize, but at least it gets my point across.